Ask Spry… Bridesmaid’s Dress Stress!

Hey Spry,

I’ve been arguing with my friend about my upcoming wedding next year (it’s not official yet). Anyway, she thinks the bridesmaids have to all wear the same dresses, and I don’t think they should.  Also, I’m thinking sapphire blue and lime apple are okay colors for my wedding.  I need an expert’s opinion, so I’m calling on Spry!

-Can’t Decide

Dear Can’t Decide,

First let me say congratulations on your upcoming marriage.  I’m sure you have lots of decisions to make, including the one about the dresses.  One of the first things that you need to remember is that your wedding is just that…  YOURS!  I’m not encouraging a “Bridezilla” moment, yet it is important that everything from the table settings to the wedding party’s attire, is catered to your liking.  Although I’m sure your friend wants to help, it sounds like her dress selection is more about what she wants, and less about your desires.  She needs to understand that her position is to offer constructive criticism, while supporting your wishes.

Although I’ve never heard of the color “lime apple”, I think I know what you mean (smile).  That, paired with sapphire, sounds really beautiful.  Just be careful with the accessories; that can get tricky. As for the actual design of the dresses, I agree with you.  Matching gowns is a long time marital tradition that needs to be thrown out the window!  Just like “one-size”, one style does NOT fit all!  Having different styles will give your bridesmaids an opportunity to wear one that is most flattering to their body types (and personalities).  Keep in mind, however, that there should be some form of consistency throughout the bridal party.  Whether it’s the length of the dresses or matching sashes, something should tie (pun intended) the ladies together.  Otherwise, it will look like you emailed everyone a color swatch and said “go for it!”; which could only end in disaster!

Whatever you choose, remember that just like a marriage, it’s good to have both similarities and differences.  I’ve realized that those are the ones that work best!  Good luck!

Here are some dos and don’ts  for inspiration.

Prom Makeover…

America wants to hear good news…
Celebrity Stylist, Spry Lee Scott and Radio Personality Déjà Vu to the Rescue!

Although the prom is not considered a “need”, it is in many cases, a defining moment in a young lady’s life. Prom is a celebration of academic achievement, the future and friendship, yet there are some young people who don’t have an opportunity to participate in this important rite of passage. Young women in foster care often don’t attend because of things that others may take for granted, like having that special gown that sets them apart from the rest.  This contest gives America an opportunity to let our young people know that even in these trying economic times, they are not forgotten.

In an effort to support and encourage young women in foster care who are reaching the important milestones of finishing school and advancing their education, Déjà Vu (radio personality), Power 105.1 FM and New York City Children’s Services are collecting donated gowns* in the Sista Girlz Prom Dress Drive.  On Saturday, May 9th, Celebrity Fashion Stylist, Spry Lee Scott** joins the team, where the dresses will be handed out to high school seniors.  This day-long event will allow the young women to choose and try on dresses, while receiving fashion and beauty tips from industry professionals.

An opportunity of a lifetime will be given to all of the high school seniors in attendance.  One deserving high school senior will win the opportunity to have her own personal stylist for two days.  The lucky contest winner will win a shopping trip in New York City, where she will hang with Celebrity Fashion Stylist/Fashion Savant, Spry Lee Scott to pick out a new prom dress, and receive personal style tips. This is just the beginning!  To help her get ready, Spry will personally show up on the day of the prom, armed with a team comprised of a Celebrity Hair Stylist and a Celebrity Makeup Artist. Spry & friends will offer a head-to-toe red carpet style makeover, and help this young lady look and feel her best!

To make her day even more special, the lucky winner will receive a celebrity style photo shoot, in the studio of a professional fashion photographer.  After the shoot, she will be whisked away, in her very own private car service, which will take her to the venue, where she will dazzle her school classmates, faculty and friends!

* If you have a new or gently used formal gown (all sizes accepted, including plus sizes), please drop it off at the studios at 32 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10013 Tuesday - Friday between noon and 5pm. Deadline for drop-off is May 1.

**About Spry Lee Scott:
Celebrity Fashion Stylist/Fashion Savant, Spry Lee Scott, has been quickly infiltrating the fashion and entertainment industries. With a professional background in modeling, he has taken his creative input, passion, and extreme sense of style to another level, becoming one of the industries most highly respected and sought after fashion stylists! Spry has styled some of today’s top entertainers including Angela and Vanessa Simmons, Mandy Moore, Bow Wow, Neyo, Alesha Renee, April Woodard, and so many more! With television and radio appearances from Access Hollywood to MTV’s Run’s House, his fashion expertise and credibility will soon be considered fashion standard!

Curvin B. Chance Foundation

Although I cannot support every single cause that I believe in, there are some that hit close to home, that I must assist in achieving its goals.  One in particular, is The Curvin B. Chance Foundation, Inc. Not only is one of my dearest childhood friends, Michi Everett, the Vice-President, but it was started in memory of her brother-in-law; a man whom I have always admired.

My fondest memories of him include two things - his passion for education, and his strong sense of family values.  I remember many weekends in my teenage years of “my crew” wanting to hang out, but having to wait for Michi and others to finish their Saturday learning sessions that Chance had set up to expand their learning beyond their schools’ classroom.  He was also one of the major driving forces behind Michi’s pursuit of higher education, and graduating from Spelman College.  When I visited Atlanta to attend the graduation, I recall Chance insisting that we all sit down and eat dinner together every night, and discuss each person’s day, as well as current event.

Having the privilege to know such a man personally, it is no question why I choose to support a foundation in his namesake.  Although I am unable to attend the annual scholarship fundraising soiree, I am doing my part to spread the word, and help get others involved.  Click th link to find out ways in which you can support the organization.

FYI: The Curvin B. Chance Foundation, Inc. is a non-profit scholarship organization that has been established in loving memory of Curvin.  A memory that encompasses so much to so many each and every day in all aspects of our lives.  It is in his honor and his caring spirit that we offer this opportunity.

Mr. Curvin B. Chance was a Chemistry major at North Carolina Central University (NCCU) and a member of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc.  We encourage you to find out more about Curvin by clicking About CBCF.

The Curvin B. Chance Foundation, Inc. seeks to offer a tuition scholarship for the school year 2010-2011 to a student, who is currently attending NCCU, who resides in North Carolina and majoring in Chemistry or Mathematics.  In addition to the tuition scholarship, the Foundation will offer academic scholarships in 2009-2010 of no less than $1,000.00 to deserving students seeking a college education who reside in North Carolina, New York or Georgia.

Sticks and Stones…

This week, a friend of mine shared a story with me that was not only disturbing, but I could not get it out of my head.  It tells of an 11 year old boy who committed suicide after being teased repeatedly in school (video below).  I immediately thought of the kids that I come in contact with on a daily basis.  Although being ridiculed by your peers is a part of growing up, it can sometimes be taken out of hand.  I feel that it is extremely important to arm our young people with the tools necessary to overcome the scars left by constant tormenting.  It is just as important to talk to those who do the teasing, and help them understand what type of emotional damage teasing can do.  After the video, I’ve offered some suggestions to incorporate in you daily routines when dealing with the young people in your life.

1.  Constantly remind them how special they are! Use positive words like wonderful, intelligent, important to describe their worth.

2.  Tell them how pretty or handsome they are! Knowing that they are physically attractive is just as important.

3.  Be specific! Let them know what special traits/characteristics make them unique.

4.  Give hugs! Even as adults, physical signs of affection are needed.

5.  Promote self-love! Ask them what they like/love about themselves.  Motivate them to discover their own self worth.

6.  Encourage them to talk to you! Ask them about their day.  Don’t settle for “it was okay”.  Ask for details of things that happened throughout their day.

7.  TURN OFF THE TV! You’ll discover that spending quality time with a child means so much to them.

8.  Teach them to be sensitive! Help them understand the power of words, and the affects they can have on others.  (At your discretion), share the above video with them and use it to stimulate conversation.

My prayers go out to the family of Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover!

H.Y.P.E. (Helping Young People Excel)

Along with Tanya Odums, LCSW, Spry Lee Scott helps run a Brooklyn based, non-profit organization called H.Y.P.E. (Helping Young People Excel).  Together, they have helped a countless number of young people take control of their lives, and not become victims of their environment.  Below is a detailed description of the program.

Mission Statement
HYPE: Helping Young People Excel, Inc.  is a 501 (c) 3 non profit organization founded in January 2006. HYPE  is committed to providing disadvantaged youth and their families residing in  New York City with the support and skills needed to succeed in life.  Through the provision of counseling, tutoring, social and recreational services, HYPE seeks to prevent and reduce self destructive behaviors and empower urban youth to break the cycles of poverty, crime, violence, addiction and hopelessness that are characteristics of economically deprived communities.   HYPE understands the unique needs of disadvantaged youth and seeks to assist them in achieving their highest potential by providing access to resources, and opportunities for success that can help shape them into productive members of society.

Creative Recreation Program
HYPE  creative recreation program has been in existence since 2004 and has been effectively implemented in residential treatments centers for adolescent females.  This is a therapeutic leadership development program for at risk youth that utilizes expressive therapies to assist youth with channeling their energy creatively through the mediums of dance, drama, skating, creative writing and art.  Through the healing arts HYPE seeks to eradicate self destructive patterns of behavior.  The Brooklyn HYPE Skate Team is a recent addition to the Creative Recreation Program. The over all goal of this program is to help youth find alternative ways to cope with the challenges they face.  Through providing youth with the support and skills needed to succeed in life HYPE seeks to inspire youth to be their best by giving them an alternative to the streets and building character and moral through therapeutic recreational activities.

HYPE’s creative recreation program seeks to promote wellness of mind, body and spirit. Utilizing meditation techniques, group discussions, self development workshops, youth forums, field trips and the creative mediums of art, writing, music, drama and movement (dance, step, skating etc.) youth will be provided with opportunities to:

•    explore and develop their creative interest and talents;
•    socialize in a safe, structured, supervised environment  that promotes healthy/supportive peer relationships.
•    enhance leaderships skills; as wells as social and cognitive skills (i.e., communication, problem solving; and decision making skills)
•    develop self-control and self discipline;
•    develop a positive sense of self-esteem;
•    collectively heal from emotional trauma; and to tap into their spirituality to help youth persevere and cope with life’s challenges.

If you would like to make a donation or for more information contact
Tanya Odums, LCSW
Executive Director& Founder
718-922-4721
TanyaOdums4HYPE@aol.com

An Open Letter To Oprah….

Dear Oprah,

I am moved to write this letter to you on Election Day because it was through your show that I was first introduced to Barack Obama.  Never before have I been in awe of a man that I had no personal connection to.  From the moment I heard him speak, I knew that he was called for something great!  Throughout the months of following his campaign (something that I’ve never done before), I kept feeling the need to stay connected.  Although I have always voted since I was of age, I’ve never felt more empowered or proud than today, when I reached over and pulled that lever back.  Just to think, with less energy than it takes to get out of bed, I made a difference.

I voted for Senator Obama because to me, he represents something that I’ve always believed in; the importance of positive role models in my community.  Everyday I make an effort to show the young men of my community positive examples of strong black men.  It was something that I was exposed to growing up, ad I know how much of an impact it had on me.  My only remorse is that as involved as I am, I can do but so much, and there are still others who aren’t exposed to such leaders.  For many of them, true success, without the ability to perform or play sports, was not a reality.  Thanks to Barack Obama, these young people have an opportunity to dream with their eyes wide open!

If you ask anyone who knows me, they can probably tell you how active I am in my community; how I’ve always been positive and optimistic; how much I try to encourage others to make the right decisions/choices.  Barack Obama inspires me to want to do more.

In a few years, I (a single man) will take on the challenge of guiding three of my seven godchildren through their teenage years.  I chose to do so because I want them to learn, first hand from a man, what it takes to be a man.  Barack Obama, no matter what the outcome of today’s election, has just made my job a little easier.

Thank you again Oprah, for the introduction.  Thank you on behalf of my godchildren.  Thank you on behalf of my family and friends.  Thank you on behalf of the young people of every organization that I volunteer with.  Thank you on behalf of every child whose future just got brighter.

Sincerely yours,

Spry Lee Scott